About Me


So let me tell you a story… It’s about a boy in love…

This boy grew up in the streets. Bad household, single mother. Nothing ever seemed to go right. Most of the time, he would walk in the house, chin dropped to his chest, wallowing… He had just come back from another horrid sandwich adventure. He had lived a very, very sad life. That was until he met his sweet love, Mozzarella.

Mozzarella was beautiful. Fair skin, and thick in all the right places. They were in love. And things moved quickly. On that same night, the boy proposed. He decided to marry her that evening as well, and so he met all her relatives. The sun-dried tomato family, the baby spinach family, the sliced onion family, the pesto family, and all their pet animals.

After that night, he never looked back. He had found true love.

That boy was me.

And “Mozzarella” isn’t really a girl, it’s just a name for a type of cheese…

Oh, and all the relatives are just different toppings… Mr. and Mrs. Sun-Dried Tomato don’t actually exist.

This whole thing was just a hyperbolized-euphemism to show you how much I like sandwiches.

I love sandwiches.

…and obviously I don’t eat pet animals. Just regular ol’ animals are good enough for me.

Hi. I’m Dom.


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